It seemed like the perfect thing. The amazing gadget, the miracle face cream, the cool designer shoes – finally on sale. A thrilling purchase in the moment. We saw ourselves at our aspirational best. We went for it. Then the pang in the stomach. The vague fear of opening the credit card statement. A quick look at the return policy.
This happens with new jobs, too.
And, I’ll get to that, but first a small confession. This article was inspired by a terrific piece about home buying in the real estate section of the New York Times. It laid out mini-case studies of the decisions home-buyers made in fraught urban real estate markets and their later regrets. Buyer’s remorse.
I thought about all the times as a recruiter that I had spoken with someone who had taken a job that sounded great but turned out, in short order, to be not quite right, or actually awful. Those situations are absolutely a top motivator for job change.
We have a hot job market, and employers are keen to tempt job-seekers hoping to improve their salary, skills, career path, or “fit” with a boss or team with amazing-sounding jobs.
It’s easy to get caught up in … the sell, being wanted, the excitement about a role that has the potential to be so much better than our current job.
Thus, it seems like the perfect time, following the lead of the New York Times, to do a piece on buyer’s remorse – how it happens, and how you can arm yourself against it.
I spoke with a number of professionals in IT audit, cybersecurity, IT/enterprise Risk and IT GRC to gather stories about buyer’s remorse after taking a new job. There were common themes that surfaced in the accounts of new job regret that are brought to life in the three representative stories below. You’ll learn what happened and the lessons learned from the experience. (All names have been changed.)
Story #1: The big international job that wasn’t
The situation: Ravi, an experienced IT audit director, was leaving the business unit of a major US financial services company that was up for sale. He was a freshly minted MBA from a top university.
What he wanted: A step up in an enriching complex company where he could grow his skills and take on more responsibility. A company with a fantastic brand. Global experience.
What he was offered: He was recruited for an opportunity to go work for a Big 4 firm that was expanding its work in India. They wanted to hire him as a senior manager with a two-year track to partner. After interviews in the US, the Big 4 firm made a generous offer.
What went wrong:
Five days before their flight to India, HR called and withdrew the offer because the firm was relaunching its regional go-to-market strategy. Ravi’s new role had been eliminated in the process. Moreover, the local team in Delhi had not been excited with having a senior leader joining their team from the US.
The firm came back with an offer for an alternate senior manager position in its Mumbai offices at a salary about 50 percent lower than what they had initially agreed upon for the role in Delhi. Since their house had been sold; their household goods and the family dog were already en route to India; and plane tickets and work visas were in hand; Ravi decided to accept the revised offer.
Once on the ground, Ravi quickly learned that even the smallest apartment in Mumbai (that could accommodate his family of four) was going to require 75 percent of his monthly salary! He negotiated a mutually agreeable departure with the firm, and then worked on contract projects in Delhi for the next year before moving back to the US.
What Ravi learned:
Do more due diligence. “For instance, I should have met with the team in India to understand the dynamics.” Additional diligence should have been around the possibility of being transferred to another city within India and the ramifications of that.
Don’t get attached to the outcome. “I wanted it to happen so badly that my initial decision was not driven by thoughtful analysis.” Ravi recommends that one’s analysis of a role should include the entire suite of parameters that have bearing on your decision, especially less obvious items like the value the role adds, the boss’ leadership and communication style, and corporate and team culture.
Story #2: The “broken job”
The situation: Li Hua, an experienced senior manager in a large public accounting company with integrated audit/advisory experience, was looking for a new role in the industry due to changes in the service offering focus at her firm.
What she wanted: An integrated audit director role where she could lead in audit and compliance areas that had not previously been tackled.
What she was offered: Li Hua took a newly created integrated audit director role. The head of audit said they wanted a leader who would help with M&A due diligence, including IT risk assessment, since the organization was going to grow through an acquisition. This was right in Li Hua’s wheelhouse, since she had M&A experience (from an audit advisory perspective) with a Fortune 200 client.
What went wrong: The boundaries of the new role were not clear. There was stepping on toes and crossover in terms of responsibilities and project ownership. The head of audit had not secured the support and buy-in from a peer audit director and/or finance – stakeholders who would be actively involved in the compliance work. In a nutshell, the role was “broken” because of its dysfunctional design. Finally, the company culture turned out to be a less-than-good fit, and the head of audit had a micromanaging style.
What Li Hua learned:
Pay attention to red flags. In the interview process, Li Hua met with the CAE and the peer audit director. She didn’t meet with the other finance stakeholders. She didn’t consider the fact that the head of audit didn’t have any M&A experience. Finally, the CAE didn’t have experience with the compliance framework they wanted implemented. “I heard what I wanted to hear and ignored the red flags.”
Clarify what the words actually mean. Li Hua advises job-seekers to ask what job objectives mean to the hiring manager and to the team, focusing specifically on their definitions of terms and language. “I assumed that the words meant the same to them as they did to me!”
Meet with the key players who impact your role. If people critical to the success of the role are not on your interview agenda, ask the hiring leader for a meeting with these stakeholders. Ask them about their vision for the role, how you can assist them, and what they would want the person in the role to do.
A side note that is critically important: Interview your future boss! A number of people who I spoke with for this article brought up the fact that they took a role where the chair of their future direct manager-to-be was vacant or that role was in the process of being hired. Thus, the future boss was never a part of the interviews. This has led to many mismatches in style and expectations, not to mention intense buyer’s remorse!
Story #3: A bonus lost, a disinterested boss
The situation: Pete, an information security manager, was looking for a new position because of the huge amount of overtime he was putting in.
What he wanted: A role with better hours, more leadership responsibilities and a reasonable commute.
What he was offered: He found a new role with a good pay increase and stock options. The commute was doable but required driving to an office in a larger city.
What went wrong: Pete spoke with his boss about resigning, expecting to still be employed during the two-week notice period, and on the date when he would be eligible for his annual bonus. However, his boss told him that they wouldn’t need him as of that afternoon. Thus, no bonus, which would have been a goodly amount.
A small but troubling point was that the office of the new employer had no company parking. Pete had not asked about the parking situation or whether there was an employee parking benefit offered by the company. He was now faced with an unexpected extra expense.
Most critically, his new boss has indirectly indicated that he doesn’t have that much investment in having Pete there. He hired the role because he was told he had to! Pete is finding opportunities to improve the company’s network security and rather loose security processes, but there isn’t much support or kudos for his work.
What Pete learned:
Don’t assume you know what your current company’s policies are or how your boss will respond to your resignation. “I should have negotiated a later start date in order to secure my bonus.”
Do a deep dive on why the position is open and what has motivated the hiring leader to hire. Get a sense of what the role means to the boss in terms of its importance and value to the team and to the enterprise. Try to gauge (through your questions during the interview) the degree of support you will get once on the job.
Don’t forget to ask about benefits and work logistics that are important to you – and that may increase your monthly spend.
Caveat emptor! Caveat Venditor! (Buyer beware. Seller beware.)
As neurologists, psychologists and anthropologists tell us, we humans are hard-wired for stories. Stories are “sticky.” They create mental pictures that are easier to remember than abstract concepts or theories. As you explore your career options, take these stories with you and allow them to guide you through the gauntlet of the job search and interviews. Proactive due diligence is your best friend in the process, together with clearly identifying your must-haves and must-avoids in a new role.
And, while it is the job-seeker that shoulders a lot of the weight here, hiring managers are not off the hook. Your presentation of the role should be clear and transparent. It is on you to know what you really want this person to do, and then to provide the appropriate tools, connections, communication and support so they can successfully accomplish those objectives.
May buyer’s remorse be banished and job satisfaction abound!